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Star Wars: Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones Review
Welcome to our review of Star Wars Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones. I admit that I am
not an expert movie reviewer, and this is a rather personal and subjective report of a movie that
I was really waiting for to see. Read at your own peril and be warned, it contains
minor spoilers.
Let's see some fancy graphics...
Star Wars Episode 2 starts with background graphics of the futuristic
city and planet environment familiar from Episode I, that now look decidedly old-fashioned.
Probably for the sake of episode continuity, the same props and backgrounds of Episode I were used. Luckily this "seen it before" feel of the static, unimpressive city backgrounds doesn't last too long.
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Star Wars Episode 2 Pictures:
Palpatine
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An early scene involves a Naboo ship, the preferred ride of queen/senator woman Padme Amidala. The ship makes noises like a
World-War-II propeller plane. On closer inspection the ship is enormously shiny, full of reflections, reminescent of the
early computer games on next generation video game consoles, where the
makers were so impressed with the possibility of creating reflective
surfaces, they severely over-used the effect. Same here - check out the picture. What
material is this ship made of? Polished plastic? Or wet frog skin?
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Star Wars Episode 2 Pictures:
Shiny Ship
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After the initial disappointment of the graphics, the
quality of computer-created eye candy increases throughout the movie and
makes up for the occasional slow scenes. All in all though, the feel of
this Episode 2 is quite disjointed. Amazing scenes interchange with rather unimpressive scenes.
Long movie, slow scenes
Many slow scenes are mostly due to Anakin (the future Darth Vader) and
his cumbersome courtship with his love interest, ex-queen cum-senator
Padme Amidala (played by Natalie Portman). Compared to Episode I, in
Episode 2 the Portman looks more mature and like a real person, as opposed to the puppet-on-a-stick look of Episode I. (Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace - now on DVD!)
In the current movie, Padme Amidala impresses the audience with her dramatic change of
hair styles from one cut to another. (The hairdressers surely work fast on that planet of hers).
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Star Wars Episode 2 Pictures:
Natalie Portman in blue screen
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Attack of the Wooden Dialogs
The Jedi apprentice Anakin, the main figure in this movie, certainly
does one thing well, and that is to irritate and annoy, so that we can
hate him properly when he matures into a full blown Darth Vader in
future installments of the Star Wars franchise. The actor playing Anakin
(Hayden Christensen) is a victim of the quite wooden lines of the dialog. The pun "Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Wooden Dialog" is
perhaps a bit too strong - however, there is nothing memorable to
report in terms of dialog.
Episode 2 - Time to cringe
Some laughable aspects of "Attack of the Clones" are mostly due to the
disparity between some amazingly orchestrated computer created
sequences, and some ... well... lame set pieces that make you cringe. For
example, when Anakin hides away with Padme on her lovely planet, they
arrive at her beautiful lake-front mansion in a half-assed semi-futurised venetian gondola. What the...?
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Star Wars Episode 2 Pictures:
Padme Amidala in Gondola
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Without giving too much away, towards the end of the movie, the
hilarious and the ridiculous intertwine in some very entertaining scenes
featuring Yoda. In my opinion, the movie crosses the line into
painful-ridiculous territory a few times too often, but hey... it's all
in the name of good fun. Isn't Star Wars meant mostly for kids anyway?
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Star Wars Episode 2 Pictures:
Yoda goes ape.
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